I prefer to live a fast paced and exciting life. Only ninety nine percent of the time, my life is anything but interesting. I used to laugh when people asked me what I do all day, because it was little things like “I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my toddler.”
In the day and age of social media, I recently came out of the blindness that is believing everything you see. It took a painful lesson or two to finally wake me up to the fact that life and people often look one way, while being another.
Glossy vacation photos, flawless selfies, status updates revealing only one small aspect of someone, all leading me to believe my life is not good enough.
I don’t partake of social media to over promote myself. In fact, many things about it drive me crazy and leave me wondering how some people live with themselves at the end of the day. I’m not a judgmental person, but I hardly think little things like “follow, unfollow” on Instagram are worth the thirty seconds of energy you give it, to gain one more reluctant follower. I don’t understand so much of the pettiness!
I refuse to be any part of it. If I drop a blog link it’s because I know I have an interesting story some may benefit from hearing.
The truth is most of my life is lived in the mundane. I make and break plans often depending on the moods and plans of my children.
I hope for the same things as most people do. In fact, one of my biggest hopes for my life is to get married and live happily ever after. I want a husband more than I want anything else, and I understand how that sounds to our success driven society. I’m not going to settle, take the first thing that comes along. I’m good with being alone. I’m good with waiting for the right thing this time.
In the meantime, I live a good single life!
There is a way to be single. For me, I’ve been in love before. I have been hurt before. I’ve birthed three children. I’ve stayed home and taken care of the house, the dishes, the laundry, the meals. This life is a good life.
The problem for me isn’t a lack of people who want to show me what love can be. I’m pretty young and apparently have an easy time attracting the opposite sex of all ages and backgrounds. I sometimes am frustrated though, because none of them touch my heart, my mind, and my soul all at the same time. I worry that maybe I’m waiting for something that won’t be true for me in this lifetime. I can’t help but wonder if maybe God’s plan isn’t the same as the plan I had for myself.
I have friends who become so obsessed with finding “The One”, that they forget to chase their dreams. And they forget to love themselves. I was once like that, and the quality of person I attracted to me back then wasn’t what I wanted. My dream guy isn’t sitting around hoping I come into his life and make it feel good.
In spirituality the point is not to take everything and make it okay automatically, but once you do release resistance to it, it no longer owns you. You are no longer it’s bitch. I’ve had to let go of every plan I ever made, every dream I ever dreamed, and any expectations I ever had.
Maybe I don’t know what The Master Plan is.
The only person I can rely on is me. This is scary, annoying, and perfect. I’d like to believe there is someone for me, a soulmate. And yet, my life keeps spiraling in the direction of leading an independent reality instead.
When people confide in me about the single life sucking, I cringe. I cringe because there is no better time to figure out what makes you happy. I guarantee there is nothing better than becoming self aware during this blessed time of transition. I used to live my life for a man who couldn’t love me the way I love myself.
Now I’m just hoping to attract my equal, my partner, my best friend, my lover, my confidant, and my inspiration.
That guy … is not sitting around hating his life.
I know you’ve heard it all before, but there really is a proper way to be single. Take risks, try new things, make a lot of mistakes, do the things you fear the most, talk to people, a lot of people, live for the moment, and most of all, enjoy your life!
You have no idea what The Master Plan is.
I’d hate for you to look back on this life and think “I wasted a lot of time feeling unloved, when I was the only one who could really love me.” That is a painful place to be, wondering if you’re alright, when the only one who needs to validate your truth and make your dreams come true, is you! Life is too damn precious to be sad about what you don’t have.
One is the loneliest number, but one is more than enough.
I had a vision of myself standing in this shell of a human body, so small. A large stream of light from the sky was entering the crown of my head and basically guiding my tiny human self further into alignment. I often feel like the energy of my soul exceeds the capacity of my fragile human shell. It was so powerful to realize that, that was MY energy.
Imagine what one person can do with a lifetime.
You. All alone.
It’s your time.