I Am Fucking Beautiful

I write about beauty and my insecurities A LOT. I’m a woman in a beauty obsessed world. I feel bad for the girls of today, because they’re no longer just competing with breast implants like us nineties chicks. You may also partake of the hip and bum implants offered these days too …

I’m not a hater of other women. I understand all too well why any woman would feel like having a little nip and tuck. Who am I to say seeking happiness in ones perfect appearance isn’t as legit as a woman who’s into fitness and health? It’s not my place to judge my sisters.

I am however, allowing you to peek into Woman World, which hasn’t changed much since it was Girl World. I think we learn over time to seek self esteem and self worth in other areas of our lives, making us more interesting people in general. I also know our insecurities as women don’t necessarily go away as we age either. In fact, they often get worse, because with age comes loss of physical beauty (or so we believe). Since we are very young it’s taught to us that girls and women are better and more worthy of love if they are beautiful.

The first time I realized that I was never going to be a beautiful woman was when I was seven. A news segment on the Playboy Mansion aired, and my father couldn’t stop raving about how beautiful these buxom blonde babes with tiny waists were. All of a sudden I was horrified by my own appearance, realizing that that simply would never be obtainable to me as a short, stocky, brunette with a button nose that was always a little too big for my own liking.

And so it has been for much of my journey as a woman.

Everywhere I look is a fourteen year old girl with tiny perky features and perfect abs to remind me of my place. To keep me in place. To make me feel less than. And there is always someone to validate these ridiculous messages. Men in their thirties and forties who still prey on girls in their teens and early twenties. Modeling agencies who will only hire certain types of girls. Social media sights that are only about great looking females (and nothing more).

Those man would call me jealous, say this is an inside job. I need to figure out why I feel bad and fix it so that I won’t be so threatened. Those men are ignorant to what being a woman is like in this world. Until they’ve walked in my shoes, or God forbid, had a daughter of their own. Even then who’s to say he could be the man he needed to be for her? Those man have no true respect for the female sex.

They are unawakened men.

My hopes for the future generation of women (those who are currently girls) is that by the time they arrive to full adulthood the beauty ideals have changed. And that the men (those who are currently boys) are awakened. It doesn’t take a man to raise a man, it’s takes an AWAKENED WOMAN. It takes a woman who is tired of bad behavior, dismissed as “just being a man”, who uses her painful experiences with the opposite sex to instill better behavior and values in her sons.

Having walked the path I’ve walked, spending a lifetime being mentally ill like my peers, buying into unhealthy ideals, I may never feel as beautiful as I am. This is the legacy we have given girls and women in this current reality. I know this because of my struggles, and because there is not a single woman I’m related to or friends with, who truly thinks of themselves as perfect the way they are (most days).

We find ways to feel better about our bodies, our imperfect faces, our flawed perceptions of ourselves, and we learn to thrive in other ways, but the American Dream for women is to be beautiful. That requires we leave our sense of identity out in the cold. We chase the unobtainable, or we spend time hating the reflection in the mirror. I personally am learning to love being unique in mind, body, and spirit, but it has been a long, drawn out, painful and UNNECESSARY journey.

When will we raise a generation of women who feel good?

I believe we have the power to do that now. Every time we turn on the TV and another sexy model appears on the television to sell our future young men a hamburger, an Ipad, or a mattress, we can let them know that though that woman is beautiful and on television because of it, there’s another type of beauty, a type of beauty they will find in their female peers: Fun, spunky, rebellious Renee, for example. We can take any amount of their time to fill them with real ideas of beauty and self worth. We can raise a generation of men who don’t grow up thinking that owning a beautiful woman is really all that much of a prize.

As I raise my boys my hope isn’t to shame them out of what they find attractive, but to help plant seeds that don’t ultimately harm people.

Nobodies calling is to be a physical shell of someone they really wanted to be, someone the world needed more than another perfect body. Can you think of anything more insulting than being told that your highest calling is to be beautiful, instead of funny, inspiring, real, or outspoken and independent in your perspective on life?

I am fucking beautiful.

And so are you.

Lets change the hearts of the world, inspiring them with our own.

Namaste’

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: