I had a breakthrough today, involving a past life memory surfacing. I have recently revealed my plans to one day serve the poor in Africa. I’ve always talked about “holding babies in Africa”, not knowing exactly what that meant until later on in life. Like, there’s a title for that?!
During a conversation about past lives, an image of a little African boy appeared in my minds eye. I mistook this child for someone else at first, before realizing in utter disbelief that I was seeing myself in the body of a little boy in Africa in a past life. I had lived that entire lifetime (all five years) knowing the pain of hunger every day of my life. Until one day, my tiny frail body collapsed due to malnutrition.
After sharing this with some friends, one of them asked me how I relate to my body in this lifetime, as past life memories never really leave us. This single question triggered a release of tension in my physical and emotional body, as I understood how connected my life as that little boy is to me in this current life, as a woman in America.
The emotional body (a brief explanation) is where every single cell memory you have ever made is stored. I tap into this frequently in order to heal, and I feel like tapping into this life as a starving child was important in the way that it detailed for me an account of my “poverty thread”.
I’ve literally lived another life where I’ve actually starved to death, like the children I wish to grace my presence with someday, God granted, of course.
The part that really makes sense and brings a sense of clarity to my entire personality is that not only have I starved to death in a physical life, in this particular life I’ve compared my spiritual journey to “starving to death emotionally.” There’s a reason I choose to find a way to eternally refill my cup, I’m always thirsty for more! This goes beyond mere curiosity about what lies around the corner, it’s literally the way I’ve survived my entire life.
Poverty thread runs deep!
I chose to walk a spiritual path because I’m hungry. If a soul craves food, it’ll find a way to eat. You can’t eat a junk food diet of shallow intention and expect to survive a life like the one I’ve lived. I’m of no more value to the rich and powerful in America than that little boy felt he was to parents who were burdened by his life, because they couldn’t feed him.
I compare my metaphor, “emotional starvation”, to a scene in one of The Pirates Of The Carribean” movies. The entire crew was cursed to an eternal life of hunger, while being given no real way to end that hunger. They eat, but the food doesn’t nourish them, and the wine doesn’t quench their thirst. It goes right through them.
This is why many, many, many, people choose a spiritual path. We are searching for ways to end our pain, and hoping that our travels ultimately lead us to happiness.
In this physical life I’ve often felt burdened by my human body. Simple things like having to stop whatever I’m doing to eat can be irritating. I don’t connect to my body as much as some people do. I spend a lot of time in other dimensions, where I feel more at home, and safe. I also, have a lot of compassion for the poor.
I’ve also managed to create poverty and hardship for myself in this lifetime, as my cellular memories have never faded.
Once a thread begins, it must unravel too.
I feel relief today after connecting to this memory. My emotional poverty makes more sense. My desire to help people, particularly in Africa, adds up (not that it needed to to a compassionate heart.)
In my minds eye, I am taking this child who was me, holding him in my arms as he leaves this world, and reassuring him that he was never a burden. He breathed his last breath, not angry, but saddened by a world who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) feed him.