Periodically, I feel like falling off the face of the Earth. Pulling my blog, deleting all social media accounts, and just living like an old 80’s child again. That being said, I know I’ve worked too hard just to be here, free. And I honor my inner creator, not by shutting her up, but by continuing to allow her to express herself.
Social Media sort of baffles me. And the way we portray ourselves online is kind of crazy, considering most of us live fairly normal lives. We are the generation who wanted to grow up and become bigger than life. I think sometimes we don’t actually believe we are, but we attempt that feat anyway. And so here we are, screaming over one another, putting ourselves on pedestals, and wondering why the world never feels quite like the Home we had imagined.
I started my journey thinking a certain level of praise and notoriety was what I actually wanted. I have since met enough people doing this very thing (becoming popular or famous) and I have to say, it doesn’t seem so appealing anymore. The amount of ego that goes into creating a following is massive. No matter what kind of work you find yourself doing, you can often find yourself a slave to this desire to matter.
I keep saying that I want to do something that matters, but maybe I already am?
I recently adopted a stray kitten from the streets. She had never known what it felt like to have a home. The minute I held her in my arms I was inundated with her pain. It was as real as if she were actually human too. I could feel the raw hurt in her. It didn’t feel any different from my own pain when I have just been through something traumatic. She has basically slept and eaten for two days straight. She isn’t a normal kitten. She’s almost very serious and reserved, but that changes a tiny bit every day.
My son asked me, “why does she look sad?” I told him, it’s because she is sad. She had only ever known a rough life. Though she isn’t human, she still has the capacity to know suffering. She still feels emotions, and trauma is still possible.
The point I’m trying to make, is that we want so badly to change the entire world that oftentimes we overlook what and who is right in front of us. I have also been on the other end of asking someone to see me, to help me, to guide me if they can. The lesson I learned was to do that for myself. I became empowered enough to start my own journey. Another lesson I learned is that there are so many people I’ve met on my way, that have taught me what kind of person I really need to be, in comparison.
I firmly believe that everything is made up of the same energy. You can have someone traveling the world, promoting themselves as a healer. And yet, they fail in moments, to grab hold of the hand in front of them. You can have very well known, and beautiful people doing big things in the world, but the moment they fail to honor the person in front of them as if they matter (even if they won’t get publicity for it), is the moment they turn their back on their own mission. Energy is energy is energy is energy, and everyone deserves to be treated as if they matter.
I keep thinking because my own life hasn’t taken on an aura of super successful, that maybe it’s time to do something else. Maybe it’s time to stop writing, sharing, and putting my message out there to be largely ignored. It seems people really don’t want to listen, but to talk over one another. And I have more important things to do than to compete for a role I feel was crafted by The Universe for me.
And then my guides whisper in my ear, something about building a boat, and how those who are building the sturdiest boats, take longer to build. Many people we see sharing instant success stories haven’t actually built that life on top of a solid foundation. And IT WILL all fall apart one day.
Anything you do, that is worth doing, deserves a solid foundation. That takes time, perseverance, commitment, and personal integrity.
I think part of my journey too, which has been important, is redefining what I actually hope to do for the world. Whose lives do I really want to touch? Whose hands do I want to hold in the dark? Do I need to be well known to do that? Perhaps to make a bigger impact, sure. What message am I actually interested in sharing?
And I realize all over again, that if I believe in fate, why am I so worried?